Top Ten Lies Women Love to Tell

Women: complex little creatures that love life. Women, no matter how honest they are or seem to be, tend to twist the truth somehow just because they’re forced to by a man (let’s say a dad, brother or a partner). I know men reading this would be quite aggravated but come to think about it, a person lies because he’s either a pathological liar or simply because he’s afraid to tell the truth. Well, regardless the reasons here are 10 lies women can’t help but tell!

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1. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear my phone ring: it’s Wednesday, Grey’s Anatomy is on which means if you tried poking her with a stick, she’d simply ignore you. What gets to me is that you guys get pissed from this behavior while you tend to act in the same manner when NBA Gametime is on. Basically, if she’s watching a chick flick, listening to her favorite song or you guys just fought, don’t expect her to answer her phone.

2. There’s no pressure to get married: been there, done that but in our defense, at some point we really do mean it up until auntie Sawsan (code for soosa -conniving-) shows up like a genie in the middle of the night and starts asking stupid questions like, so when are you getting married? Or, why don’t you hook up with Hamada, he’s great and he lives in the states! Auntie Sawsan is usually a well intentioned, 40 something -year old woman that makes you hurl every time you see her, so guys don’t hate the girls for pressuring you to buy the $50 golden ring that will shut up all the auntie Sawsans out there, instead hate the 40 year old creature that needs to be slaughtered (PS. Watch out for Sawsan behavior in your own mom!)

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3. Boudi? Nah, he was never an option: this sentence just cracks me up every time I even think about it. The fact that she called him ‘Boudy’ instead of Abdullah is proof that he was once an option. Well, this is a whole other article that I’ve been meaning to write but in the meanwhile, bear in mind you’re probably not running this race alone so RUN FOREST RUN!

4. You’re right, I’m sorry: this phrase sounds like something Chandler would say on F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Rule # 1: women don’t ever think they’re wrong, EVER. Is she says you’re right, she’s either had enough of this conversation or she’s in too much of a good mood to argue about it. 99% of the time, she spends the rest of the month proving to you that she was right and you’d be sorry (harsh but true).

5. Numbers: men are accurate; they say 2 dollars 30 cents instead of the rounded $3 reply women give. So don’t ask a woman anything that would require her to answer with a number, for example how old she is (after the age of 40), how much she weighs nor what shoe size she wears because you won’t get the accurate answer you were hoping for.

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6. I don’t care really: if she says she doesn’t care, she probably does (at least for a minute). So I don’t care how much money you make is probably something she’s dying to find out, I don’t care if you’re a slob is unfortunately something that’s killing her and I don’t care if you show up at my party is simply a lie.

7. My dress is NOT short: men, come on, don’t be insensitive. The girl has been getting dressed for God knows how long, worrying about her makeup, hair, dress and the fact that her ex is at the party and she wants to tease him and all you could come up with is ‘your dress is too short’ ??! have some pity on the girl and compliment her beauty,  in fact help her tease her ex too , and if you’re dying to say something, then say it as you leave the party (saying something like ‘this dress could’ve been longer’ is highly appreciated).

8. You’re my first: she’s 20, hot, single and funny, first can mean a lot of things. You could be her first true love, first serious relationship, first one with the name Mohammed, or first one to ever buy this sentence. Every girl knows a thing or two about men, where do you think she got the info from? When she says you’re her first, ask her to define first! 

9. I love watching sports: when there’s nothing else on TV, when there’s no one to talk to, nothing to eat, and when I want to impress you, should all be words to finish off this sentence.

10. I like you just the way you are: girls, men can see right through this one because you can’t hide something like that. We always buy them clothes, watches or shoes on anniversaries and birthdays so apparently we’re not really fond of their sense of style. When it comes to romantic gestures, we give them a heads up on what we like and kind of imply what we want as gifts too. That’s ok, as long as you’re happy, just don’t lie to yourself about it, you like him just the way he is when he does what you tell him to.

Women, complex little creatures that love life, so let them live!